As a little girl, i used to make a wish list for my birthday, for the things I craved and every year i used to keep it under my pillow and the next day i would get many of the things i asked for. It was a second Christmas for me, although i am not Christian and Christmas is not celebrated in my family. My wish lists were mostly filled with Barbie dolls, dollhouses, and sometimes little creatures, no i am not talking about aliens. I am talking about a puppy and a kitten, i named my puppy, Sun and my kitten, Earth. And as you can easily guess the subject of my interest, to decorate my cake with a little cherry I also watched 'the fault in our stars' their love made me believe in love, how romantic. And on my 16th birthday, i made the list to have a love as strong as 'The Fault in our stars'.
**Seven Years Later**
'Hello,' I said while trying to wake up from my sleep.
'HAPPY BIRTHDAY Babe' Lila shouted her lungs out
'Thank you, Lila' I said
'Where is the party?' Lila asked with all the excitement
'Wherever you want' I Replied, it's like somebody was forcing me to have that conversation, i just wanted to cut the call and forget about that day.
'Okay, meet me as soon as you reach the Gurgaon', lila said by putting all her energy with the hope to change my mood.
She cut the call and I started thinking about the day, my birthday and what happened two years ago, it’s fresh in my memories.
**The next morning, my Birthday morning**
'Wow, somebody is ready to leave the house', my mother asked
'Yeah, i am going, i will be back by night', I didn’t want to hurt anyone, I just wanted to leave the house.
'Sure. And you got the list?’ she asked
'Yeah i have made the list', a list again, but this wish list was not for me.
I reached the Temple and met with the parents and two baby sisters of Arjun. We all joined the Pandit Ji and performed the rituals just like every year.
'Do you still miss him' Radha asked me while Shivika joined her. Radha is the youngest sister of Arjun, Shivika is two years elder than Radha and four years younger than Arjun. well, don't start counting, it's not a mathematics question.
'Still? It's like he is with me all the time.' I replied I wanted to cry but not in front of his family.
**Five years before**
'Wake up my princess' my father called me as I woke up to my 18th birthday. This year I had a list, a list of things I wanted to distribute to the orphan kids. I took the gifts and reached the 'Titli'. Titli is the orphan home for a lot of beautiful kids.
And i accidentally gifted something to Arjun, who was also there to celebrate his birthday, but he turned 21 that year and I still remember the day, he came to me and said,
‘Hi, I am Arjun. You accidentally gave this to me. I am here to celebrate my birthday’ and I turned to see his face, I was sitting on the ground with a kid and he was standing just behind me. I stood up and turned to see his beautiful smile, I could see his one tooth that was touching his lower lip every time he tried to close them. And those eyes, those green eyes that made me forget to listen to his voice. But as soon as I saw the gift in his hand I realized my mistake, also I realised the reality of the situation. I apologized and we both laughed, giggled, and just lost track of the time. We spent the day with the kids and enjoyed our birthdays. Our love story was as beautiful as a romantic movie. we were science students, we loved reading novels, we both had the same taste in music as well. I know what you are looking for ‘the but’. Here it comes, but true love stories are never complete and so is ours.
'Can we please not talk about him on our two years anniversary, standing on the footpath of a highway' Arjun was mad at me for not telling him about Sanam. Sanam was my ex and also my friend. Well, Arjun knew about the friend part, but the ex-thing he didn't know. So, he turned to walk away from me and got hit by the car. Well, it's way too dramatic. No, he turned, and He didn't walk on the road. He just stood there and proposed to me.
'I know you hid about your ex, but i don't want you to have more of them, marry me' i felt the ache in my chest and i said yes. I couldn't have found someone as perfect. And we lived happily ever after. Maybe in a parallel universe but in reality, something else happened.
He got a study visa in Canada and left me. We promised to stay in touch, but slowly things got ugly and we called off the engagement. But I never removed that ring because I didn’t want to accept the reality and never stopped stalking him on Facebook, I saw him getting a new girlfriend and doing all the things with her which I thought was ours only.
And even if I tried to forget him, my birthday reminded me of him and I stopped celebrating my birthday because eventually there was nothing to be happy about my birthday anymore.
Seven months later, I received a call from Arjun on our birthday. We talked like old times like nothing changed, we talked till morning and finally, I wanted to celebrate my birthday. As I was decorating my room for the evening party. I received a call from Arjun again and he said, 'Listen to me as i talk, I hurt you and i am sorry but i never stopped loving you. We had distance and some differences, but you are my soulmate, and no matter what i will find a way back to you. I love you, my jaan' and I just blushed I had no words. And I knew this was it, this was my whole life.
In the next morning, i woke up with a headache, probably from the sound and dancing and all the shouting, remember I was happy. I felt it in my whole body, not just the pain but the thought of us getting back together again, I turned to search my mobile in the pile of girls lying all over the floor, bed, everywhere.
'19 missed calls', i whispered and opened the screen and saw it was from Arjun, I dialed the number feeling all the craze in my veins. More excited and a little nervous and a lot sleepy.
'Hello' I heard a woman
'Hello, is Arjun there' I asked
'Are you someone known to the dead? we tried calling the last number he dialed, but nobody was answering. Can you confirm who he was......... 'the woman keeps on going, but my world stood still, i was shocked, shattered, I couldn’t believe the words I was hearing, I wanted to ask her about Arjun, I wanted to ask her if she stole the mobile or somebody else did. Because my whole world broke into pieces and I couldn’t do anything to help it.
I didn't cry for a week, I went back to my parents in Jammu, they were bringing back Arjun. For the first time in a year, I saw him, but he wasn’t talking or teasing me, he wasn’t even smiling with his one tooth touching his lips, he wasn’t even looking me in the eyes like he used to and that always made me fly. He was just lying on the floor, he was still. I blamed myself for it, I could have stopped him from going to Canada. I could have stopped him on the phone that night and he would not have gone to the market and neither he would have been hit by the bus. Nothing of this would have happened if only I would have been there for him.
I didn’t cry then as well, looking him sleeping calmly I made a peace with it or maybe I didn’t accept the fact that he was no more. I just stood there with my eyes glued to his face. They took him and I stood there, I watched him leave my sight and I didn’t shatter a tear. I went home and saw a package on my dining table. It was addressed by Arjun.
That was the gift he sent for my 21st Birthday. It was a list of things to donate and a handwritten card, and that day I cried, cried my heart out. My mother held me in her arms and for days i couldn't sleep. But i got my strength back slowly and every year, I make a list of things, I donate to the 'Titli'. I perform the rituals of Arjun with his family and I still have his ring on my finger.
Life didn’t turn out as I thought it would be, but sometimes we learn the value of love after losing it.
'To my beautiful girl,
You are the moon to my earth and sun to my universe. You are more than a partner to me; you are my soulmate. See, I can write romantic, and can write all the things we read in the novels you suggested me to read. But last night I saw you on Facebook, of course, I was stalking you and I saw that ring on your finger. You still believe in me and in us. I wish I would have trusted you as much as you trusted me. I love you, no matter what. I am with you always.
You know, not all endings have to be like 'the faults in our stars' we will create a perfect one. where we will live happily ever after, with our kids and our dogs, we will name them all after the stars and planets and we will have our own solar system. Because you are my universe.
Yours truly,
Arjun '
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